A Birthday Limerick for Sereen

My friend, Sereen, is opening up a new bakery, Z Cake Shop, and her cakes are beautiful! Today happens to be her birthday so she gets a limerick from me. I am hoping that on my birthday I will be getting a cake from her!

“Please won’t you try me?” your beautiful cakes sing.
I could eat them til my stomach is  aching
I shall make a suggestion
In the form of a question.
When it’s YOUR birthday, who does the baking?

Limerick of Lament and Rap of Rage: Profilin’

Yesterday, someone disabled my facebook account, for reasons unknown to me.  It’s hard not to take something like this personally, so I decided to get it out of my system by writing an angry rap. Picturing me, your average mom, rapping in this style is enough to bring humor to any situation. I feel so spiritually cleansed! Time to start over. Here it is:
Apparently I have myself an enemy
Just when I thought everyone was a friend to me
Someone knew I loved facebook
So that’s what they took
I’ll start up again, wait and see.
So many words in just my first draft
This could be good for my craft
Just like Eminem
I will have to show them
You THINK you will have the last laugh.
Scratch this limerick style
Let me rap for awhile
i have friends, you could CALL them my fans
hold me up when i’m TAKIN’ a stand.
i’m not TAKIN this ban
you think i can’t, but i KNOW that I can
did it once, I can DO it again
now I’m BETTER than

the pen . . .

WHEN I began

so GIVE me a hand
don’t MISunderstand
it’s ALL in the plan
now HERE i am
like johnny TO ed mcmahon.
I’ll have a NATION
In a standing ovAtion
in an aBOMination
won’t make no acCOMmodation

. . . is mightier than the rolling pin!

to your affiliAtion

so take a vaCAtion
to my creAtion
in your dediCAtion
don’t change the STAtion
rappin’ rhymes in acCELeration
don’t like your Accusation
the aggraVAtion
is WAStin my time
usin’ words to the best of my aBILity
with aGILity
tryin to keep my ciVILity
to our incompatiBILity
so get your FILL of me
and my crediBILity
are you STILL with me
Larry, you’re KILLin’ me
your act is FILLin’ me
with rage
and WILLin’ me
to FILL this page
so GET off the stage
with your MINimum wage
start ACTin your age
not your SHOE size
I will NOT compromise
anyTHING may arise
let me deCRIMinalize
what they may SEE in their eyes
this world is FULL of goodbyes
but i ain’t goin’ NOwhere

Here i am till the end

You can STILL be my friend

and if it HAPpens again
can’t say when
i will PICK up my pen
Whew! How cathartic. After all that was said, and all that was done I want all to know that I never intended to bully, intimidate, or harass, or to post content that: is hateful, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence or to do anything unlawful, misleading, malicious, or discriminatory. If I did so,  please forgive me. If I ever do so again, please bring it to my attention rather than have me wondering what I did wrong and to whom. Although I have contacted facebook, I may never see my account again.


The Bad Poet’s Society

You may think that I write these poems to amuse you lovely readers, but the fact is I do it to amuse myself like a kid who has memorized a recitation and stands in front of whatever audience she can muster up with her hands clasped in front of her rocking ever so gently to the sound of her own voice. She loves the occasional run-on sentence and any chance to rhyme. That’s me.

But I am not alone.

I just became part of a society of such harmless souls. The fearless leader of The Bad Poet’s Society writes poems about dots and lives by the motto “Give pink a chance.” Like I said, harmless.

Ode to Dots

When I stop thinking

I am nothing

Just a dot

That loves pink

Occasionally pulses

And in the morning

Needs coffee.



Snaps, momma. And don’t we all need coffee. Here is my entry:

The Bad Poetry Jam
I think…
I’m one bad mamajama
I’d love to be a poetry slamma
I’d love to be coola
So cool I could school ya.
I’ll keep rockin’ these rhymes like a gramma.
And if that’s not bad enough, how about this one?
Ode to My Lack of Exercise
I’d much rather walk like an Egyptical
But it’s time to get on the elliptical
To get out of this rut
I must get off my butt
Saying tongue twisters that make my lips tickle.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

A Birthday Limerick and More for Wendy

There’s no good reason this wish is belated.
My eyes weren’t dilated nor was I sedated.
It wasn’t the flu.
Forgive me, Wendy Brown Chu
Now here’s the poem that was so long awaited.

Because I find you oh so dear
Filling our days with endless cheer
I wish you even more
With medieval troubadours
Accompanied by the pan flute of Zamfir.

A Birthday Villanelle for Wendy

It’s her birthday today!
It’s hard to keep still.
Let’s shout hurray!
My affection I’ll display
With my poetry skill.
It’s her birthday today!
Her sister came for a stay
Which is her biggest thrill.
Let’s shout hurray!
With two nephews who play
It is hard to keep still.
It’s her birthday today!
Serve her cake on a tray.
Her every wish we’ll fulfill.
Let’s shout hurray!
Should we have a buffet?
Hey, let’s fire up the grill.
It’s her birthday today!
Let’s shout hurray!
Happy Birthday, Wendy!


Post a comment

Post a comment.

Leave me a word.

Tell me it’s the best

That you’ve ever heard.

Tell me it stinks

It is too absurd.

Or that for a moment

Your boredom was cured.

Write me a paragraph.

Write me a letter.

Your reading my writing

Always makes me feel better.

Give me a thumbs up.

An emoticon smile.

It will give me a high

That will last for a while.

I will follow your comment

I will look up your site.

I will comment on YOUR stuff

And we will both feel ALL RIGHT!

Write on, write on!



A Birthday Limerick for Chris

Happy Birthday Christopher Bauer!
Looks like I’ve waited until the last hour.
The least I could owe him
Was this cute little poem

And one wish of Wonder Twin power!


A Birthday Limerick for Jen S.

Jen’s that gal from Alabama

Whose life plays out like a docudrama.

The current chapter is cool,

Set in Istanbul

With pure perspective of the panorama!


Happy Birthday, Jen!