We said our last good bye – a rock and rhyme poem

Standing on a lonely hill

Beneath a cloudy sky

He always thought our love would grow

Before we said our last good bye.


Didn’t know just what he did wrong

Never got to ask me why

Why must I be so doggone proud

To make him say good bye


Will I ever get a full night’s sleep

When clouds roll through the sky

For I never learned how to forgive

When we said our last good bye.


I always wonder from afar

Let out a mournful sigh

As I wish upon a star

After we said our last good bye.



Today’s poem was inspired by an exercise on the blog Writing Forward, Writing Tips and Ideas. The idea is to take a good song with rhythm and rhyme and a relatively simple tune and rewrite it trying to match the rhyme scheme. I did just that and would like to see if anyone out there can figure out the tune I snagged. I just hope the singer isn’t rolling in his grave with what I did to this timeless classic.


16 comments on “We said our last good bye – a rock and rhyme poem

  1. OK – I tried but I can’t figure it out. I know it’s going to be obvious when you tell me..
    You ARE going to tell me right?

  2. Hear that lonesome whippoorwill . . .

  3. If you haven’t yet figured out the song and artist, it was none other than Hank Williams and his song “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”

    He was recently honored posthumously with a Pulitzer Prize.


  4. you’re a talent almond- as always..

  5. I’m glad you revealed the song and the artist (I truly don’t think he would be ashamed of what you’ve created) because I was going crazy trying to figure it out. Now, reading it with the music in mind, you did a fabulous job of capturing the rythym.

    What an interesting prompt!

    • so glad you took the time to read it twice. yes, once you know the tune it sounds even better! i reread it thinking how hokey, i used the word doggone, then i read it to the tune and didn’t mind at all.

  6. Hank would be proud! I love the feel of this. And your photo is drop-dead gorgeous!

    my potluck offering is here: http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/week-68/

  7. very apt poem…
    Thanks for sharing…
    u r encouraged to share 3 poems…

    • Thanks, Jingle. I like the thought of showcasing one poem a week. It gives me an opportunity of feedback I never dreamed of getting. This is the best weekly poetry collection. I love the potluck idea. As always, Jingle, you are a treasure.

  8. I would have never dreamed what the song could be and on top of it I love that song!! Your talent blows me away every time I come here!! So lovely to see you linked girlfriend, thanks so much!! xxx

  9. There’s great movement in this poem. You made me feel the regret and remorse. Well done!

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