Standing on a lonely hill
Beneath a cloudy sky
He always thought our love would grow
Before we said our last good bye.
.
Didn’t know just what he did wrong
Never got to ask me why
Why must I be so doggone proud
To make him say good bye
.
Will I ever get a full night’s sleep
When clouds roll through the sky
For I never learned how to forgive
When we said our last good bye.
.
I always wonder from afar
Let out a mournful sigh
As I wish upon a star
After we said our last good bye.
.
.
Today’s poem was inspired by an exercise on the blog Writing Forward, Writing Tips and Ideas. The idea is to take a good song with rhythm and rhyme and a relatively simple tune and rewrite it trying to match the rhyme scheme. I did just that and would like to see if anyone out there can figure out the tune I snagged. I just hope the singer isn’t rolling in his grave with what I did to this timeless classic.
This Limerick Called Life 
OK – I tried but I can’t figure it out. I know it’s going to be obvious when you tell me..
You ARE going to tell me right?
Hear that lonesome whippoorwill . . .
If you haven’t yet figured out the song and artist, it was none other than Hank Williams and his song “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”
He was recently honored posthumously with a Pulitzer Prize.
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/12/pulitzer.prize.winners/index.html
you’re a talent almond- as always..
and you, fiveloaf, are quite the flatterer. thanks.
I’m glad you revealed the song and the artist (I truly don’t think he would be ashamed of what you’ve created) because I was going crazy trying to figure it out. Now, reading it with the music in mind, you did a fabulous job of capturing the rythym.
What an interesting prompt!
so glad you took the time to read it twice. yes, once you know the tune it sounds even better! i reread it thinking how hokey, i used the word doggone, then i read it to the tune and didn’t mind at all.
Hank would be proud! I love the feel of this. And your photo is drop-dead gorgeous!
my potluck offering is here: http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/2010/02/03/week-68/
can’t take credit for the photo other than googling and searching until i found the perfect one! i was pleased with it as well, captured the tone of the poem. Hank you very much, Mair.
very apt poem…
Thanks for sharing…
u r encouraged to share 3 poems…
smiles!
Thanks, Jingle. I like the thought of showcasing one poem a week. It gives me an opportunity of feedback I never dreamed of getting. This is the best weekly poetry collection. I love the potluck idea. As always, Jingle, you are a treasure.
Thanks a ton,
See you next Monday….
Happy Thursday,
love your poetry treat.
it adds favor and light to our party.
I would have never dreamed what the song could be and on top of it I love that song!! Your talent blows me away every time I come here!! So lovely to see you linked girlfriend, thanks so much!! xxx
thanks, buttercup. talent? me? wow. I’m just sitting around playing with words.
There’s great movement in this poem. You made me feel the regret and remorse. Well done!
nothin like the blues!