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gripes


When today’s motto is “The sun’ll come out tomorrow”, I have to wait a day to take a shower by solar heated water.

Sayings like: What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I should be a championship bodybuilder after this week. But hey, I CAN tear cabbage with my bare hands.

When Extra Strength doesn’t touch the surface of the pain.

When you get to create jokes like this from real life experience: I can’t wait to dance on your grave: says the angry teenager to the mother. Says the mother to the angry teenager: Over my dead body!

When The Gingerbread Man becomes a horror story.

When nothing but the blues cheers you up.

Not being the one cheering up others. 😦

Sarcasm aside, a friend shared something useful. I need to print it, frame it and read it frequently:

Islam and Stress management

Compiled by Sarita Glasser

Do not wish for death in your dua When under stress or at any other time of hardship,.

It is makruh or “disliked” to wish for one’s death, or pray to Allah for it, due to poverty, distress, illness, or the like. on the authority of Anas, the Prophet, (pbuh), said: “Let no one among you wish for death due to any hardship that may befall him. But if one has no other choice, but to do so, one should say: “O Allah! Grant me life as long as life is good for me, and cause me to die when death is better for me.”

Stress is the physiological response to actions or events that place excessive psychological or physical demands on a person.” It is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed his ability or resources to handle them. When you are stressed, it may result in any or all of the following:

1. Decrease in communication.

2. Decrease in motivation.

3. Decrease in performance since your performance is a function of your ability times your motivation.

4. Learned helplessness. According to Wikipedia, “learned helplessness is a psychological condition in which a person feels that he/she has no control over his/her situation and that whatever he/she does is futile. As a result, he/she will stay passive when the situation is unpleasant or harmful.”

5. Reactance. According to Wikipedia, “reactance is an action in direct contradiction to rules and/or regulations that threaten or eliminate specific behavioral freedoms; it can occur when someone is heavily pressured to accept a certain view or attitude. Reactance can cause the person to adopt or strengthen a view or attitude that is contrary to what was intended and also increases resistance to persuasion.” Reactance can lead to rebellion or physical confrontation to restore previously gained rights or freedom.

Never give up on Allah no matter how bad you perceive your situation to be and how depressed or stressed or desperate you are. To give up on Allah is actually tantamount to disbelief.

“Truly no one despairs of Allah’s Soothing Mercy except those who have no faith. ” (Qur’an, 12: 87) When you feel overwhelmed and down with stress, remember Allah and do thikr. Thikr refers to all forms of the remembrance of Allah, including Salat, Tasbeeh, making supplication (Dua), and reading Quran.

“And your Lord says: `Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer)…” (Quran 40:60) As Muslims, we are in direct communication with the Almighty. He is the only One Who not only Hears and Knows all, but Who can change our situation and give us the patience to deal with our difficulties.

Once you have determined how to deal with a stressful situation, put your trust in Allah the most Wise and the All-Knowing. “When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah” (Quran 3: 159).

Here are some general advice from Prophet Muhammad (s) when you are in distress or suffering from anxiety:

“If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.- Abu Dawood

Anas said that when the Prophet, (pbuh), was faced with a serious difficulty, he would always supplicate, (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace) “Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu. –Tirmidhi

Additional Reminders When in Stress:

Remember that sickness expiates evil deeds and wipes out sins.

Abu Hurairah reported that Allah’s Messenger, (pbuh), said:”For every misfortune, illness, anxiety, grief, or hurt that afflicts a Muslim -even the hurt caused by the pricking of a thorn – Allah removes some of his sins.”

Ibn Mas’ud said: “I visited the Messenger of Allah (pbuh), while he had a fever. I exclaimed: `O Messenger of Allah! You have a high fever! ` He said: `My fever is as much as two among you [might have]. ` I asked: `Is it because you have a double reward?’ He replied: `Yes, that is right. No Muslim is afflicted with any hurt, even if it is no more than the pricking of a thorn, but Allah wipes off his sins because of it and his sins fall away from him as leaves fall from a tree`.”

If you are experiencing stress because of illness, you may complain of your illness, but do so Islamically without anger or impatience.

Once `Aisha (ra) complained to the Messenger of Allah (s) about her headache, lamenting: “O my head.” He retorted: “Nay, rather (I should say) O my head .

`Abdullah ibn Al-Zubair asked his ailing mother, Asma bint Abi Bakr, “How are you feeling now?” She replied: “I am in pain.”

A patient should thank and praise Allah, before talking about his distress and complaint

Ibn Mas’ud said: “If one thanks Allah before complaining about his pain or disease, then it is not considered impatience. Indeed, to refer one’s complaint to Allah, is quite lawful.” Jacob ( AS), said: “I complain of my distraction and anguish only to Allah.”

The Prophet Muhammad, (s) himself prayed: “O Allah! to You I complain of my weakness.” Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #2

When faced with something difficult or unpleasant, do not use the word “if.”

Abu Hurairah (r) reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “A strong believer is better and dearer to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, but cherish what gives you benefit in the Hereafter and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say, `If I had not done that, such and such thing would not have happened,’ but say, `Allah has ordained it so, and whatever He pleases He does,’ because `ifs’ and `buts’ open the door for Satan.”(Muslim) Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, #132.

My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

“The believers are but a single brotherhood” Quran 49;10. If you see a fellow brother or sister in need take the initiative to help “Make your character good for the people.” Muwatta, Volume 47, Hadith 1 .

5 easy ways to help:

1. Bring Food

2. Lend a Hand

3. Get Them Out

4. Provide an Ear

5. Point Them To Resources

“Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah’s is the most regular and constant even though it were little.”Sahih Bukhari

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